#18 - Pamela Hull

Pamela Hull shares her story of how and why she got her black belt at the age of 70. It's is her mission to empower others with the knowledge it takes to defend oneself in case of an emergency. She is now a self-defense instructor at Lionspride Boxing and MMA Gym in Bunnell, FL 

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Chapters

• 2:03 Introduction to Martial Arts
• 4:10 How an Armed Home Invasion Changed the Course of Pamela's Life
• 5:53 Self-Empowerment
• 7:36 Children and Self Defense
• 8:47 How to Prevent a Bad Situation by Exuding Confidence
• 10:04 Probability of Assult
• 13:07 How to Avoid Suspicious Characters
• 15:47 Dangers of Carrying a Purse and How to Defend
• 19:35 Outdoor Safety
• 22:35 Weapons
• 25:43 Creating an Automatic Defense Response with Training
• 26:35 Accepting Drinks from Strangers
• 28:22 How Long to Entertain Someone Who Approaches
• 31:08 Turn Feeling Fear into Feeling Awareness with Training
• 32:30 Ask for an Escort
• 33:20 Domestic Disputes
• 36:14 Benefits of Self-Defense for Children
• 39:16 Practice Drills with Your Kids Can Save Everyone's Life
• 44:58 Adrenal Stress Training
• 48:40 Sound Effects Are Important
• 50:55 Taking A Self-Defense Class
• 52:32 Pam's Advice

Transcript

0:11

This is Angela Grayson from the Living Life Fitness Podcast. To help others in their fitness journey. It's All Possible! It’s time to wake up. Here we go. Hello, everybody. This is Angela Grayson, your host of the Loving Life Fitness podcast, where I record with professionals and everyday people to try to help bring highlights into your life about what they may be doing to help you live a better life. And today we have on the show Pamela Hull, Pamela is the owner of Southwest Self-defense in Cape Coral, who has now moved into our area and is working here to help people with self-defense, boxing, kickboxing. And I can't wait for her to tell you about her other program also. So hello, Pamela. How are you today, by everybody? How are you? Good. Really, really good. Pamela, I'm so excited about talking to you today after we got to get together yesterday and you showed me and demonstrated with me some of the things that you do, and it's gotten me excited and I can't wait to get back there and get involved in your your program. My first question, though, is I want to go back to your beginnings and tell us about yourself, where you are or where you're from. Your interest in health and fitness and your education. Go ahead and take that away. Health and fitness has been a part of my life all of my life, being involved in one sport or another. I have been living in Florida for almost 50 years, so the outdoors fitness, being able to be healthy has always been very important in that respect. I have been practicing martial arts about 11, 12 years now. Prior to that, I was a surgical dental assistant for like 45 years and I took an interest in martial art because of one of my patients. She was just so awesome. And if I may say so, she was also 50 ish and she invited me to join one of their classes at the dojo. And I did. And I was her. And that became my passion, my sport of choice. And it has been the best thing I've ever done. Where did your path take you there afterwards, with your interest, your education? I was so honored to have earned a black belt in mixed martial art, and part of that training encompasses quite a few different little forms of martial arts. When I say little, we learn a little jiu jitsu, muay Thai tempo. It is kind of a culmination of so many of the martial arts, and part of that is self-defense. And I knew immediately that that was something that I wanted to pursue further. So after that, I decided to explore and pursue Krav Maga, which is an Israeli created form of street defense. And it is amazing. It's just an amazing form to practice and to teach. So your teaching led you to eventually open up your own lathe. So did your passion take you there or did maybe something happen to you that took you in that direction? Yes, and I share this in my seminars and in my classes with my students. Many, many, many years ago, I had the unfortunate experience of an armed home invasion. With that I was tied up, I was gagged, I had a gun to my head. The reason why share that story is so many people are just complacent to the possibility of being a victim of crime. And I'm here to tell you that especially in the world that we live in, and this is not cynicism, this is realism that we really need to be aware. And I started my business six years ago, and obviously I am not a youngster. And I also go to this place with that. If you have a dream, if you have an idea and you have a passion for something, you are never too old to pursue it. And it was the best thing that I ever did. I started my business. I teach one on one private session. I teach teenagers that are going off to college, kids that have had kind of a rough upbringing for various reasons. I had an 80 year old retired dermatologist who wanted to learn how to defend because he knew that he and his wife would be kind of easy targets just by nature of their age. Everyone, male, female, children, everyone is welcome and everyone should know a little bit about self-defense, no doubt. So self-defense also promotes a feeling of confidence and empowerment. Talk about that a little bit. It is an amazing transformation. We hope that we never have to use it. We are not looking to use it. We're not looking to get into a fight. We're not looking to finish a fight. We are looking to just defend, get ourselves to a safe place and to be able to continue our lives. There is something to be said for knowing that you have the ability should you need it. And for those that perhaps had been in circumstances where they have been intimidated, they have been threatened, whether it's domestic abuse, professionally, I will speak to that for just a moment. Those that have been in professions and who have had their bosses, coworkers act inappropriately, some of the women that we have seen on the news of the last few years waited ten, 15, 20 years to do something about their abusers. I hope that with a program like this, they understand that they do not have to wait. No one has the right to intimidate them, to abuse them, that you can speak up for yourself and know that if you needed to, you can back it up. The feeling that you get just from practicing and knowing that you had the skills and that you are brave enough to use them when necessary. It's an amazing transformation that happens. There's a lot of psychological learning that goes into this also and changes the way we think, the way we let people talk to us and Triana. And that goes for all people, not necessarily just women, children, even, and other adults. Agreed. You know, children bearers because of our social media, what the children are exposed to. There is such a prevalence of bullying. When the kids come to me or when their parents have shared that it's a completely different approach. I don't want those children to be hurt. So it's more about deflecting, blocking. Do not be afraid to speak to someone. Go to someone of authority. And certainly if something should happen and their bully pursues something physical, to have some of the tools to be brave enough to defend yourself. So learning the talk is so important too. We had a little bit of a conversation about this yesterday when I was with you, when I was telling you how like when I go out alone, whether it be during the day or at night, being able to look confident, to walk confidently, also to speak confidently, to ask for help if help is needed. So go ahead and emphasize about that. A little bit more. It's not just about self-defense with the body physically, but there's more. First and foremost, it's about your awareness. It is about now a completely different way of living your life, actually. And I think you and I kind of spoke about it where we are sometimes afraid of perhaps thinking that someone might be a threat and they're not. We sometimes may be afraid to ask for that help because we don't want to be a bother. But in the meantime, we put ourselves at risk. So the awareness in your absolutely correct. Walking with purpose, keeping those cell phones at bay when you're going from point A to point B, being aware of where your cars are parked, knowing that it is okay to yell for help. First and foremost, use your boys, the bad guys wives and easy targets. And when you are feeling cop in it enough and you know that you are empowered, it is not looking weak. It is looking so smart and brave. Ask for help. Ask for help. Always. So most common places where women might get assaulted. Do you have any information on that? It really varies in my experience, and sometimes I will get calls specifically because of instances that have happened with women. It can be anything that you've gotten off a bus and someone riding by will see you and try to approach. It could be that you are in a dating relationship and this person starts to behave badly and you really don't know what to do because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You don't want to end the relationship. You don't know if this is a one time instance traveling. Absolutely. We had this discussion about how we carry our purses. We all we become an easier target because we've got something for the bad guy to grab on to there. Honestly, in this day and age, the holidays are coming. The bad guys are out there where you park your car. Crime and abuse is not just something domestic. It is out. There are realtors are realtors have to go into homes and show strangers. So we do a whole program on that. I do a group of hair salons and the owner of these salons, I am so proud of him because he does this as a gift to his employees. Where do you have your car parked at night? Are you walking out alone? We also had that discussion. And I don't care where you are. I just talked to a restaurant manager and we started to have this discussion about does your staff walk out alone? And he said he has put a rule in place that if he discovers that any of his servers walk out of that restaurant alone to their car, the rest of the servers on that shift will lose a shift. And I thought that was such an amazing perk that he added. He said, I don't want anything to happen to any of my employees. Especially we've got enough people where one or two can walk out 2 hours to a parking lot. So crime for women, it can be so random. That's kind of the scary part of it. Not that we have to walk around in fear, but we must walk around in awareness because it can happen anywhere. And being ready for the defense. Yeah. You just talked about all the different situations that anything could happen at any time. How do you prepare people to respond in different situations? You're walking out of a place. Even if you're with somebody and you see some suspicious characters over there by your car. I mean, they might not be any threat at all, but you're feeling uneasy. So what do you do? How do you get to your car? You know, that's very interesting. And yes, we did discuss this. First of all, your intuition, if you are feeling something is not right, chances are something is not right. And if you then explore it and pursue it and discover that it. Okay, we're good. Still don't take for granted that there is not that possibility, especially if the circumstances in which you've noticed and something is sending you a red flag. Listen to that. Don't just assume before you step off occur. See where your car is parked before you walk to it. If you just taken a phone call, put that person in your pocket on the phone, tell them I'm walking to my car. I'm placing you in my pocket so your hands are free. Do not have your bags in your hands. All full. Be prepared. Where? If you need to do something, you can. First and foremost, you're using your voice. You're yelling as loud as you possibly can. We had a little chuckle about this yesterday. When you are yelling those words, somebody might make you mad that they're even thinking that they can attempt this, but do not yell anything that someone would possibly misconstrue this event for something personal. We want to yell whatever it is that we can yell, call 911 bad guy. I don't know you as loud as you can so people can hear you and they can also come to your rescue. And if that person is in your pocket on that phone, they can call 911 for you. They know where you are and they can make the call from you or from your pocket, actually, and get help coming immediately. And it's all about first and foremost, so important, the awareness. It's so important to be aware. We discussed our legwork. We discussed our stance. We discussed how close you should allow anyone, especially that you don't know within your space. And with the training, the strategizing comes pretty quickly. You'll sense if he's good or bad, you will watch his movements. You will hopefully be able to get away before anything should occur. And if not, the bad guy will give you all the information you need as to how to defend quickly and as effectively as you possibly can and hopefully get away. Does carrying a purse make you a bigger target? If so, what can we do carrying our purse? It is certainly not anything to lose your life over. We must remember that. So I do this little trick where if I want to put my phone in some pain or a lipstick or what have you. I take all the information or the important things that I need, like a credit card, my driver's license, some cash, and I may put it in a pocket. We also discussed how we carry our purses across our body. It is a great target for someone to come up behind you and grab it. If they grab it and you are not prepared to go into your guard, damn, to be able to fight off that being pulled backward, it they will knock you down and the fight may become something extremely different. Of course, when you're on the ground and you've got to defend, it's a completely different event. If you can just let it go, let that purse go. Don't feel like you have to fight for it. It's not worth it. We all carry them. But it's also that awareness. If you do have it over your shoulder, just keep your hand on it like this, perhaps, and secure it a little bit. So if somebody does pull you, you're prepared to kind of fight against it again, in that guard position. That guard position is our left foot forward or right foot kind of back halfway down the length of our left foot and our hands are free. And we had defense for if somebody comes behind you, if somebody is alongside of you. We practice all forms of self-defense. As many of the possibilities as we can possibly cover. So I have said that I'm going to quit carrying a purse because it makes me feel like a target. It's like I always have to worry if somebody's going to be grabbing my purse. A crime is all my clothes don't have pockets. It's like that little, you know, all those cute little dresses. And you know, even better, even pants, pockets in shorts pockets. They're not deep. Usually for women putting in your cell phone, your keys, your money, your lipstick, whatever it is you want to put in your pockets. It's like our outfits are only so big. Yeah. Forget about all those cute little dresses. You know, they don't. You'd have to sew pockets into them. They don't come that way. But preppy, right? We had a little trek that we talked about yesterday briefly. You know, we women have got that little pocket right here that perhaps you can put something in again. And if you are carrying your purse, just be aware. Just have some awareness of the possibilities. But we don't need to live in fear necessarily. And again, when you have the tools and you even feel a slight little tug, what will you do? You'll fight against it, right? You will brace against it. If somebody is behind you and they grab you, you can use that elbow, use that back breath and just try to get away or let him have it. Just let him have it. It's not worth it. It's an inconvenience is what it is. We may have to get a new cell phone. Oh, gosh. To replace all those contacts or, you know, our credit card. So just carry is minimal of things that you need. Every time. I'd like to touch on out doors. So, you know, I like to go hiking. We have a lot of beautiful paths here in Palm Coast for bike riding and walking and running. And you don't always have somebody to go with. And, you know, you just want to get out there. You want to be in nature. Sometimes it's nice to be by yourself out there and you worry about your your safety. Yeah, let's talk about that. How can we have our confidence built up to go out there and enjoy ourselves? That's a great question. I am an occasional runner. I will not run with earbuds. I just won't do it. I want to be able to hear who's coming behind me if I'm on a sidewalk, the cars. If I am running on a sidewalk and there is a car parked there that was not there, say, on my way to where I was headed, cross the street. If I'm on a path and I'm by myself, I am swiveling. I'm just every once in a while checking it out. I know that sounds awful, but we can all relate to the story of the beautiful mom that we go out and take her run at. I think it was 430 or five. She went the same way, the same time of day. It's unfortunate that I say this because I we create patterns. If there's a bad guy out there, he'll see that if it's dark, do not go by yourself. It maybe not even just two of you. Maybe three of you. Again, we cannot live in fear, but we must live kind of being prepared for the possibilities. We can't put ourselves in that situation. If you're hiking, if you are running, if you're biting to do it at 430 in the morning. And I realize that sometimes that is the training time that's convenient for those perhaps who work. I would just really kind of rethink that and always, always is. That is something that you do. You write a note. If there's not someone that knows you're leaving, you fail. I lap, I call your flight plan. Always let someone know where you are. Leave that information somewhere. If you cannot speak to someone personally, be where people are. There's no guarantee that you know, when we are defined by that, we're not going to get hurt some and that we must be prepared. And everywhere we are, everything is a weapon. If we fall a stomp, a rock on the ground, a limb from a tree. There are so many different ways of using that, hitting somebody, stabbing somebody, throwing something. Are cell phones are cell phones are also can be weapons if we need it. They've got great apps where people can track your phones, your family, anything that we can think of, especially outdoors. And if we are physical being and fitness advocates, we just have to really be smart about when we train, where we train and how we train and keep our awareness up. How do you feel about actually carrying weapons, whether it be a knife, whether it be a gun? Another great question. The bad guys are better or better at it than us. A weapon is awesome to carry. I believe in the right to carry carrying a gun and to protect your life and your property. Without a doubt, a knife. We kind of discussed this a little bit as well with one of the items that we've shared. A knife. Boy, you've got to get really close to defend with that. If it is a big bad guy and they are stronger than us when it comes to a woman, a man is not necessarily at such a disadvantage as we are. And that's reality. I train a group called the Armed Women of America, and the reason they come and train with me, we call it lethal versus non-lethal defense. The fact that you carry a weapon is awesome, but it is not always 100% effective initially. So what we do is we train to where if you have that weapon and you cannot get it out in time, you must be prepared to defend non-lethal way until you can get yourself to a spot, even if it's just a matter of a few seconds to pull that weapon out and defend. It is proven statistically. The SCCA did a whole survey of men women better in prison and the question was asked of them, If you even see a gun on your perspective victim, someone that you're just having a fight with, somebody that you want to steal something from, what will you do? And it was unanimous. They will go for that gun first and if they get it, they will not hesitate to use it. So to kind of be cross-trained, maybe you're very proficient in knife defense. Maybe you've had some training in other type of weaponry. Always think about that cross training, though. That weapon can be taken away from you and used against you. We teach how to defend against a knife. We teach how to defend against a gun. I will say this as clearly as I can. When we are trained for that defense, we are told be prepared to be hurt. But hopefully you will save your life. You may be shot, you may be stabbed, but you'll be alive if you can defend against those weapons effectively. The training is really important in so many different ways. With any way that you plan on defending yourself, going to classes or rehearsing on your own, just making it so that the muscle memory is there ready to respond in different situations. Yes. Going to a class one class for 2 hours, that's great. But my suggestion is, wherever you are, if you can do a group of sessions, I always suggest for starters, a group of ten sessions. Everybody has a different comfort level. Every student may want to revisit a certain technique or a certain strike that we were practicing that gives us adequate enough time to cover basic. And then from there, if you would like to continue your training, then we can really get specific and really role play and really get into it much more specifically and dramatically, if you will, with role play. Hey, I'm going to come at you with a few different scenarios. So let's say you're out and you're dancing, you get up, you dance, and then you come back to your seat and some guy comes walking up to you with a drink your would you like, You know, I just bought you a drink. Would you like a drink? Let's sit and talk. What would you do? Absolutely not. You know, we all know what can happen with your drink. Intent is a big thing. You can sense whether someone is being you know, they've got bad motives, bad intentions. But you can't assume. I mean, Ted Bundy look like a great guy, too, you know, and all of the stories that we've heard of all the other bad guys that are out there. Very politely. No, thank you. What about the dialog? You know, women think, you know, I don't want to hurt this guy's feelings. That was nice. He bought me a drink. Yeah, I want to say no, but how do I say no? Can you just say no? Thank you? Or maybe. Oh, I like my drinks a certain way. I'm just going to go ahead and order my drink the way I like it. You know, the dialog is important, right? Because you really don't know if this is a bad guy or this guy. Yeah, you know what? If he is a good guy and you're just simply. Oh, no, thank you. I have wine or No, thank you. I'm not drinking tonight. You don't know a stranger. Really? Any explanation? But you don't want to be rude necessarily, because you don't know what his intentions are. This may be a great guy. And if he's a great guy and the dialog then occurs, surely you can understand that. I just feel better not accepting a drink from someone that I don't know better yet. Yeah. And keeping in mind that your comfort and safety is so much more important than some guy's feelings that you might not ever see again. Absolutely. I had a story. I did a seminar for Health Park. It was a very big medical seminar. And one of the women came to me after and she shared a story that she was meeting friends out, girlfriends out. She parked her car in a garage, a parking garage. She started to walk. This man started to walk with her and started a dialog. And I listened very carefully because it is not this is not genuine by any means. Unless you kind of know what to do, you won't know what to do. And she was so sweet in the admission that she made, and I'll explain that. And so as he is talking with her, she's engaging in the dialog, but she continues to walk. But her scent is told her this was not good. So then I said to her, How far did you walk? And she said, Well, until I got to the place that I was meeting my friend. And I said with a smile on my face. How many other restaurants did you actually pass before you got that one? And she said, Oh, my gosh, probably four. And I said, Well, that's your answer right there. She said, Well, I was afraid I didn't want to, you know, accuse somebody or act a certain way. I was embarrassed, too. And I said, But we'll worry about him later. We could apologize to him later. If he ends up being a good guy, which we might not ever know. But the most important part is that you were safe just walking to the restaurant. And if anybody in that restaurant asks you, Can I say to you and you share very simply, No, thank you. I was just a little worried about this person who was following me or coming with me, anybody and any establishment that would not receive that graciously. Shame on them. But nobody else is important in this equation except you. So, yeah, it sounds to my mind here is like, my goodness, what a shame that we have to be so on guard all the time. I mean, this could be just a guy who is trying to be nice, trying to start a conversation, doesn't really know how, but just, you know, wants to be friendly. Right. Yeah. Friendly people out there. Yeah, I want to be friendly. Sees a pretty girl and wants to start talking pretty woman, whatever. And, you know, we're just on guard all the time, and. Yeah, you should go with your feelings. You know, if you're feeling uncomfortable about the situation or where you are or the way he's talking. Yes. So be aware. Going back to the about awareness and know our intuition, how we feel about the situation. But, you know, you don't want to close yourself off completely. You know, and in speaking to that point with your training, with your newfound feeling of confidence, I don't mean ego. I don't mean where you got that sense of confidence, like, oh, I can take him. Nothing worries me. But with that new friends sense of competence and feeling empowered. That fear becomes something completely different. It's not necessarily fear. It's awareness. She did feel like something was not right. Her intuition had told her, Oh, well, it wasn't a good guy, and yet she was still embarrassed to speak out. And so he didn't touch her, which was great. He didn't try to grab her, which was great. So just merely walk into another place of business. There's safety in numbers. We also had this conversation and that if you think that you would like to or you need to and you should be walked out of from point A to point B, if someone does not receive that in a welcoming way, shame on that person. But don't quit until you find someone that will that ask one person, two people, three people, ten people if you have to to walk you out. Absolutely. And shame on the people that are not open to that. I'm not saying that if they feel like they are at risk in doing so, that something is happening. And now you're asking someone, can you come out there with me? Because no real body should put themselves in any risk, but nor should you. You should not be putting yourself out in that situation by either. Avoid it if you think somebody is out there. Don't go out. If you think that it is something that you need to call. 9114. Call 911. They're there to help us. A police officer, I think, would rather be called to that kind of a call rather than a call where they have discovered you hurt or in the process of being attacked or and it made me speak to something as well. The police, if you're in the process of anything domestic or any situation that is ongoing, if you're receiving texts, you're receiving phone calls. I went with one of my students to the police because it was time I give you tool, but it is not the only line of defense. It is incorporating all the other your police agencies, telling your neighbors, sharing it with your family. You need a big support system. So we've all got you. We all have our eyes on you to make sure that you're safe. Do not continue to respond to that person, because even though you are responding, perhaps to deflect what's happening, you share that with the police. Let them make a record of what is happening in your world. And then when the time comes and you're feeling comfortable, perhaps getting an injunction, but incorporate your police agencies in whatever fears you're having, whether it is walking on the street, walk to a police officer, hotline one line, and you could even say, I'm not sure if I'm in danger or not. Take advantage of help from everywhere. Safety in numbers is so important to. We were talking a little bit about like when I go out at night, how I would rather always have somebody with me, whether it be driving in the car and something happens or walking from your parked car to where you're going or when it's time to leave the other way around. Why not have a friend with you? It's like I was telling you, it's like I don't have anybody who wants to go dancing with me. I meet people there and so, you know, that's I don't really like driving in and walking from my car back to my car alone. I feel very uneasy. And that's when you said, Well, just call me, we'll go together. And I'm like, That's great. Finally. And then he wants to go out with me. You know, I can introduce you to new people and maybe have a dance right? And it would be it would be my pleasure. I love to share this knowledge, and I don't want anyone to ever walk to their cars by themselves. I don't. And before you get in your car, look behind you. Look in front of that car. Look around. It takes 2 seconds up your time and it becomes a way of life. And not because you're living in fear. You're letting more smartly, more strategic play. And you never know who that new friend might be that wants to go out with you. You never know. You never know. Okay. So we talked a little bit about children in your self-defense courses. Let's talk a little bit more about what it does for children physically and mentally. Let's get a little more into it. Basically, what kids really don't like to be active. Hey, Dad, Nag put some boxing gloves on. In a more simplistic way. The other part of that is we always have dialog. Always. I am always asking the kids, How's it going? What do you do today? Has there been any issues? Is there anybody that you're afraid of? And after a while, the relationships, the report that I build with these kids, I have no words. I had no words. And the kids have it really tough these days. Bullying is very prevalent. The little ones that come in, when I say little one, I had ten year old, 11 year old, 12 year old, younger than not. We all play. I have backpacks that I keep in my room, so I may do kind of a stranger danger thing. I may put a backpack on them and say, okay, I'm going to go for that backpack. What are you going to do? Teach them their guard stance. Teach them to defend against it. Teach them to move their arms and let it go. And don't worry about what mom is going to say. Don't worry about my homework is in that backpack. Let it go and scream your head off. Scream. We do different scenarios where if someone is picking them up, for instance, we try to keep it to where it doesn't scare them. It empowers them. Those little feet, those little legs. And I will tell you, shoes on, shin bones are painful. Elbows like we kind of practiced a little bit back to somebody's head is painful. Again, going over whatever scenarios we can do with the kids. Some of the kids, I will not teach them to stray. Firstly, I spend time on blocking and being offensive. On removing yourself. Do not be afraid. Words cannot hurt you. You're being brave and you're saving yourself. I don't want anyone that is being bothered by a bully. I would never say to them, Just turn around and knock them out. Absolutely not. That bully is better at it than they are, and I don't want to see anyone get hurt. And one of my kids, I was so proud of her and she came home from school this day and she'd come to me because she had been being bullied. She was 15 years old and the bully came in the cafeteria and she blocked her, blocked or blocked her and then got away. Had she turned around with her fists up. The bully probably would have hurt her. So that was our first step in teaching her defense. We eventually got to the other part of it, giving kids the confidence to get out there and stand up for themselves and moms that are picking their kids from the mall. You're sitting in your car and the car's running and your kids are on the way to the car. How many times have we heard about carjacking like in in mall parking lots here already behind the wheel of that car and it's running. And the bad guy comes to you or comes to your children and says to your kids, get in the car and looks at you and says, drive. What will you do? He's already got your kids. You're already behind the wheel. My suggestion to moms are, get out of that car. Explain to your kid. Do a little drills. Okay. This is the way we're going to do it from now on. And again, not to scare them, but empower them also that they are partly responsible for their safety also and for the safety of their mom. Kind of. Right. Watch behind them. Let the kids get in the car. Now get behind the wheel of that car and go. But make it a team. Make it teamwork. It's like if you practice drills, if you have a house fire, you know, we practice drills. If we have a hurricane, if we have a tornado, that is the same kind of drill. Okay. What about getting led to isolation scenario where people come up to you, you know, they're showing you or talking to you about something, a program, a course, you know, could be a few people, you know, that walking up to you, they're trying to sell something or just conversation about something that they're doing. Yeah. You know, I have brochures, you know, in my car. Why don't you walk out and we'll we'll get you a brochure. And if you're interested, you know, that could happen so many different ways. Yes. You know, where you're getting led to isolation. You think maybe innocently. Yes. Well, and gosh, I you know, I say there's no thank you anyway, but I'm not coming. If you have a card while you're around, everyone get that card. Let them put it down somewhere. Let them do whatever. If you reach your arm in your hand out like this, our rule of thumb is keep your safe space and do that dance. And that dance is that they're walking towards you. You're just very tactfully walking back a little bit, and it's to arm's length, my length and their length of arms. As an example, my hands become free. My hands are up in this area. I am not going to extend my hand if it's somebody I know or a group that I know, like our networking group or what have you, that's different. But if I am out somewhere where I am in unfamiliar territory, I will not. And if they think I am, whatever, I'm okay with that. If I know the name of their company and I'm interested. Thank you so much. I'll give you a call. Thank you. But I am not going to put myself in the proximity. If they want to get me, they're going to have to chase me. They're going to have to come get me. I will not give them the opportunity of getting that close to me. I love working with the homeless. I love giving to the homeless. And I'm not saying that it's just the homeless that would approach you at a store at a gas station. Now to whatever. I will not turn my back to go into my car, to go into my little change purse and give someone change. I feel awful about it, but I just I won't do it. And I hope this doesn't. I don't I don't even know. It's not even second thought for me, because after years of this, I compared it to changing your diet from eating regular food. And maybe you're going on a diet or you becoming a vegetarian. And the first thing you do when you go to a grocery store is you read the fats and the carbs and the sodium and the sugars, and you either put it down or you pick it up and you learn what it is that you want to shop for from that point on or you know it you're just grabbing. Yet him off the shelf without even looking at the cart and and living the life of safety. It's the same thing. Listen, we all make mistakes and we're not always on. We live in a life of distractions, but it's really easy to think in a different manner when you have some training. When you had some training, we had dialog through all of my sessions. I had some of my students actually bring me in with scenarios and I will say to them, okay, so tell me what happened. And they tell me and they say, This person did this, but could they have done that? Let's do it. Let's practice it, let's role play. We can always there's always Plan A, Plan B, plan C, all of the tools that you learn in strikes and moves and techniques in Krav Maga. In my training where I go to training, they call it arts and crafts, and that is you can take all the tools that you've learned and you can mix them up in whatever defense is necessary at that time. Use them all. Think of them all. Just do it. Just try to start defending and don't stop until you can get away. It's not about finishing the fight. It's about saving yourself. A question about adrenal stress, combat conditioning through muscle memory, learn actions, perform actions without thought in a flow state. Absolutely. Again, I keep repeating this with training. That fight or flight mentality comes in. It is natural. When I had my events, I had no training and my hands on training probably would not have done anything to prevent that. But I can remember my breath. I can remember the darkness I almost couldn't see because I was so fearful. And I totally get that. And so when I had a situation that I had been worried about and there have been a couple since my training, I found that my body almost went. I mean, the adrenaline. Absolutely. But the strategy I've seen and the thought process came first. I respected the fear. I mean, it wasn't like I was doing this step by step in my brain. It just automatically occurred. And then after it was over and I knew everything was okay, you know, that I was like, holy smokes. Okay, Thank God. But there is a little drill that I do in my sessions, and it is 30 seconds long because so many people say I am, I'm afraid I'll freeze. I'm afraid that I will. And I say to them, And you will. You will. And you mustn't feel guilty about that. Of course when it comes to fear. And oh, my God, what do I do? Because you don't know what to do. And so as you start the training and it put you on the heavy bag and I put the time on for 30 seconds, and I say to them, just knowing what you know right now with different stripes, kind of what I showed you, I'm going to start the timer and you do whatever you can think of in 30 seconds. And the first time you do it, you might throw one strike and then you stop and you say and you don't know, and then you throw another strike. And in 30 seconds you might only have four strikes in and they're not looking pretty. But that's okay, because that's that's what happens when you haven't been able to do it over and over again. And again, when I say this, I stress that there's nothing scientific about this. This is just something that my brain worked up. And by the end of even just a few weeks or a month training, I put you on that heavy bag and I time you for 30 seconds and now you've got 35, 38 strikes happening on that heavy bag and there was power and you're using your voice for every strike. Now that face usually turns to mean and it's like, yeah, now it was good. And again, it's not about ego. It's about feeling empowered. You can do this, must have faith that you can do this because you have to do it. And again, I'm not saying that you've got to get 35 strikes out on somebody. You can get two good strikes, one to the groin, one to the face and run. It depends on what your situation is. But we had a video here, Pam, so that we could be showing everybody that was fighting not only Bone Brown, but our bell. We will do that again. We bring that sound. The fact and the sound effects are important. And you are striking for a couple of different reasons. One is to pull all of your striking kind of your bad guy out, you know, especially now. Holy smokes. I think this person might know something. It also helps that breath come from your diaphragm up and out because you need all of the air and breath and cardio that you can possibly muster. That comes from the practice of watching Batman and Robin or when you were little and you know that you had the the words that came out on the TV screen. TV TV are really pay pal. William Yeah. And whatever works for you do it and as well if you are defending and you're making loud noises, somebody has got to hear you, right? We want someone to hear you and tell them to call 911. Don't just stand there and take video. Exactly. The man that. Yes. Call 911. Help! Help. Call 911. Just demand it. You know, and I would like to say, but this might not be very popular with your with your guest. But for those people that are just standing there and videoing and not doing a thing, shame on you. Yeah, that's really important to say. Everybody seems to want that. Want to the video these days instead of getting involved in and trying to help, even if it is just a phone call, you know, shame on you if it were a bomb, if it was your sister. Yeah. And I don't mean to jump in and make it a brawl. And don't put yourself in danger if this man has a weapon, but call 911. Pick something up off the street if you need to. And try to hit this person to deflect his attention on his victim. Anything that we can do, those of us that are trained in CPR, are we obligated to help someone? Yeah, we are. We should be morally and ethically, and the same should apply for helping someone that's being attacked. So I've got to say, it's of course, we all hope that we don't get into that kind of a situation. But taking your self-defense classes, any self-defense class that might be near you wherever you may live, it's fun. I really enjoyed myself yesterday and can't wait to come back for more. It's fun. It gives you confidence. It's empowering. And that was just How long was I there? Not even an hour and a half. Yeah. And I absolutely loved it. And I want to learn more, you know? Well, I'm glad. And and I think you good at it. And when I say you were good at it, it's not something that you had any experience in. I think you saw that it was practical, it was quick. They were simple strikes. It is it is the whole toolbox. That is what is effective and it is be light on someone's face when they have accomplished their boxing. Some of their strikes. And there's somebody space that I could see that is worth $1,000,000 to me, thinking that I may have helped someone. They become part of my family. And it's great. It's joy. Yes, yes, and yes. Okay. So, Pam, if you had to give somebody a goal here in our audience, okay. Oh, living a better life, what would that be for you to give to our audience first and foremost? Again, if you have a passion, if you have a dream, if you have an idea, no matter what your age or what you are doing now, go for it. Explore it. Don't be afraid. I'm here to tell you that it was the best thing that I'd ever done by reinventing myself. I'll say that at the age of 60, getting a black belt at the age of 60, I'm so grateful that I took that step. Be healthy. Even from a defending standpoint, if God forbid, you need it worked out. Cardio. It's not only just about the esthetics of our body, it's about keeping ourselves healthy, not only because we want to run five miles or we want to lift major weight, we want to keep herself safe. And if we had to defend against someone, it is going to take some strain. It is going to take some technique and it's going to take a lot of breath. So just live your best life and stay as healthy as you can for every aspect of your life. I just want to say that anybody who wants to get involved in Pamela's self-defense course, if you happen to live here near us, she is at Lions Pride Boxing and make gym here in Bunnell, Florida. She also has a gym in Cape Coral and that is the Southwest self defense. Yeah. There wherever you live, though, there is, of course, places to go to get out there and get involved in some kind of self-defense course. Why not? Why do it? Why not become more empowered, more confident, feel better about yourself in different scenarios so that you can be more aware and more intuitive to live safely? Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for coming on today. This has been so great. He's so much. Yeah, an amazing experience and I appreciate what you do. Also, this is a great program and what you do is also empower for everyone and that is living your best life and spreading the word. So I thank you very much. You are very welcome. All right, Pam, thank you. Okay. Thank you. This is Angela Grayson from the Living Life Fitness podcast to help others in their fitness journey. It’s All Possible! It’s time to wake up. Here we go.